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What to Do When There Is No Pink Crayon

Being a young single adult member of the Church can be really hard. I always imagined that I’d go to college, find a major that I was excited about—and get married somewhere along the way as well. After all, that’s how it worked for my three older siblings—my brothers were all married or engaged before they graduated.

Now my graduation day is speedily approaching, and I’m nowhere near having a ring on my left hand. I never imagined this happening to me. I’m overwhelmed with upcoming decisions I need to make: Do I go to grad school? What kinds of jobs do I want to apply for? Should I move away or continue living where I am?

It’s difficult making these decisions all on my own. I feel like it would be easier if I were married. If I had to move away, at least I’d have my husband with me. I’d have someone to support me, and the two of us would make decisions together. I often feel scared when I think about all the decisions that I have to make, and sometimes I feel stuck. I want to move forward and take the next steps in my life, but some of the options I want—like marriage—just aren’t available for me right now.

An Answer in a Crayon Box

In a 1992 BYU devotional, Janet G. Lee, wife of former BYU president Rex E. Lee, explained the importance of making choices in less-than-ideal circumstances. She began with a story about her daughter Stephanie at kindergarten registration. The teacher offered Stephanie a box of crayons, then she asked Stephanie to pick her favorite color and write her name. Stephanie didn’t do or say anything, and Sister Lee was perplexed. Later, she asked Stephanie why she hadn’t written her name. “I couldn’t,” Stephanie responded. “The teacher said to choose my favorite color, and there wasn’t a pink crayon in the box!”

Sister Lee then asked:

How many times are we, as Heavenly Father’s children, immobilized because the choice we had in mind for ourselves just isn’t available to us, at least not at the time we want it?

            Is progress halted when acceptance into a chosen major is denied, when enrollment in a required class is closed, when a desired job doesn’t come through, when that dream date doesn’t progress beyond friendship, or when the money hoped for isn’t there? Are we ever, for reasons that are hard to understand or beyond our control, faced with a set of circumstances that we did not have in mind for ourselves? In other words, what happens when we look in the box and the pink crayon just isn’t there? It is so easy to lock our knees, put our hands behind our back, and do nothing when things wished for and dreamed about are beyond our reach. But to do so would defy the very reason we are placed here on this earth. As hard as it sometimes is to understand, stumbling blocks are essential to our progression.

Learning to Color My Life

When the pink crayon isn’t there, we have to continue to color our lives with the crayons we do have available. For me, this meant going through the temple to receive my own endowment. I always figured that I would go through the temple when I was getting married. However, as my graduation grew nearer, so did my desire to attend the temple, draw closer to God, and take a step forward. I didn’t have the option of coloring with a marriage crayon, but I did have the choice of coloring with the temple crayon.

Going through the temple allowed me to progress in my life and come closer to God. It has given me comfort about the future and confidence that, with God’s help, I can make choices and progress. I’m still not totally certain about the future, but I’m less scared.

I’ve found truth in what one girl wrote Sister Lee: “I don’t have all the colors of crayons that I want—but I do have all the colors that I need. When I need new or different colors in my life, Heavenly Father will make sure that I have them.”

—Denya Palmer, BYU Publications & Graphics editorial intern

We exercise our faith by stepping into the darkness. If we step in faith, surely the light will follow. -Lynn A Mickelsen

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