{"id":11569,"date":"2017-01-10T10:44:24","date_gmt":"2017-01-10T17:44:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/speeches-alpha.byu.edu\/?post_type=speech&p=11569"},"modified":"2023-07-18T12:10:51","modified_gmt":"2023-07-18T18:10:51","slug":"a-safe-place","status":"publish","type":"speech","link":"https:\/\/speeches.byu.edu\/talks\/peggy-s-worthen\/a-safe-place\/","title":{"rendered":"A Safe Place"},"content":{"rendered":"

When we moved to Provo thirty years ago, I was in my twenties. Our oldest son was two, and our youngest son was just a few weeks old. I had been a member of the Church for less than ten years.<\/p>\n

Shortly after arriving in Provo, I met Bertha. Bertha was in her sixties. I knew a little bit about Bertha. I knew she lived in our stake. I knew she was respected by those who knew her. I also knew that she was a leader and a woman of service. People sought her advice.<\/p>\n

I remember attending a stake Relief Society function at which Bertha was one of the women on a panel that was answering questions and giving advice to those in attendance on a variety of topics. I noticed that Bertha was being asked for a lot of advice about raising children. I soon discovered why. She was the mother of thirteen children. I appreciated her responses to the questions. She seemed to have all the wisdom and experience that I lacked.<\/p>\n

Another thing I knew about Bertha was that she seemed to like walking. Sometimes I would see her walking in the neighborhood. One morning while I was walking with my friend, she asked me if it would be okay if Bertha joined us occasionally on our walks. I told her that was fine. But privately, the thought of walking with Bertha intimidated me somewhat, mainly because I held her in such high esteem.<\/p>\n

A few days later my friend invited Bertha to walk with us. Before Bertha met us for our walk that morning, my friend told me a couple of things about Bertha that she thought would be helpful to me. She told me that Bertha sometimes had a little difficulty hearing and that her shins sometimes bothered her\u2014especially when walking uphill. I thought these things were good to know.<\/p>\n

Our walking route that day began in the Tree Streets south of the Provo Temple. We headed toward the temple, which is a steady uphill walk. I don\u2019t remember much of our conversation that day. I remember only the question I asked Bertha once we reached the top of the road by the temple and began our steady descent toward home.<\/p>\n

Remembering that Bertha\u2019s shins sometimes bothered her, I asked, \u201cBertha, how are your shins?\u201d<\/p>\n

There was a bit of an awkward pause, and then, with much earnestness, Bertha replied, \u201cI\u2019m working on them, and hopefully they are improving every day.\u201d<\/p>\n

I responded, \u201cOh, that\u2019s good. Thankfully it\u2019s all downhill from here.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was feeling pretty magnanimous about my expressed concern for Bertha. For a couple of minutes we walked along in a somewhat awkward silence.<\/p>\n

Then my friend suddenly got a relieved look on her face and, turning to me, exclaimed, \u201cYou said shins,<\/i> didn\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n

My first thought was, \u201cYes, of course I said shins.\u201d<\/i> Then it occurred to me that they had both thought I had asked Bertha how her sins<\/i> were doing!<\/p>\n

I was mortified! There I was, this inexperienced young mother, asking Bertha, this accomplished and wise woman, how her sins were doing! How impertinent I must have seemed, especially to have commented that it\u2019s all downhill from here\u2014as if implying that once you hit a certain age, it can only be downhill.<\/p>\n

I really don\u2019t know what Bertha thought of me. I do know that I was grateful that my friend clarified the misunderstanding that I had unintentionally caused.<\/p>\n

That experience and many others like it have taught me the critical importance of effective communication. Our ability to communicate with one another is one of the most important aspects of our lives.<\/p>\n

In Ether 1:33\u201337 we see that the importance of communication was understood by the brother of Jared. \u201cAt the time [when] the Lord confounded the language of the people\u201d (verse 33), the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord so that He would not confound the language of his family and friends. The brother of Jared realized that effective communication was vital to the on-going well-being of his people.<\/p>\n

The BYU mission statement emphasizes the importance of clear communication. It states that a BYU education should \u201chelp students . . . communicate effectively.\u201d1<\/sup> My New Year\u2019s plea for you is that you emphasize this part of your education this year.<\/p>\n

Effective communication is essential to many aspects of your university life. This past semester I attended one of the Eternal Family religion courses. One of the class sections was on dating. One day the professor conducted a live, in-class survey. The questions focused on what the students would like to change about their dating experiences and what they appreciated about those experiences. The majority of the responses related to communication.<\/p>\n

Here are some of the things the students, both men and women, wanted to change:<\/p>\n