{"id":6742,"date":"2014-09-30T14:37:08","date_gmt":"2014-09-30T20:37:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/speeches.byu.edu\/?post_type=speech&p=6742"},"modified":"2021-03-15T10:46:00","modified_gmt":"2021-03-15T16:46:00","slug":"four-steps-stairway-heaven","status":"publish","type":"speech","link":"https:\/\/speeches.byu.edu\/talks\/dan-clark\/four-steps-stairway-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"The Four Steps on the Stairway to Heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"
As an adjunct professor who has taught at BYU for several years, I am in awe of this amazing institution that attracts the finest, most extraordinary faculty and students on the planet.<\/p>\n
I honor you and believe that King Benjamin could have easily been describing you when he said:<\/p>\n
And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual.<\/i> [Mosiah 2:41]<\/p>\n
Yes, you are awesome, and this could be the most important assignment I have ever had as a professional speaker. Consequently, I wanted to be at my best.<\/p>\n
However, as I was getting ready this morning, I noticed that I was losing hair on my head and growing it in my nose and ears and on my back\u2014in places I don\u2019t even need it. That is not a fair trade-off. My only hope this morning was that the hair in my right ear would grow long enough so that I could comb it up over the top of my head and fake all of you out! It didn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n
When President Worthen asked me to speak to you today, two life-altering experiences surfaced in my mind, helping me focus my remarks. First, I recently returned from an eighteen-day military tribute tour with my invited guests American Idol finalist\/Sony recording artist David Archuleta; world-class musician, vocal coach, and musical director Dean Kaelin; and celebrity impressionist Jason Hewlett. We performed our Evening of Music, Comedy, and Motivational Theater<\/i> to fourteen amazing audiences; held six firesides for the U.S. combat troops in Afghanistan, Djibouti, Bahrain, and Kuwait along the Iraqi border; and concluded the tour with a special visit to the missionaries, members, and investigators in Ethiopia. We were touched by the dedication of Church members and the fearless commitment to service before self of our brave men and women in uniform. And when we got shot at and returned machine gun fire during one of our flights in a Chinook helicopter to a remote forward operating base, I realized that we should never take our freedom for granted and was reminded of the sense of urgency with which we all should live our lives.<\/p>\n
The second life-altering experience happened on October 23, 2010, when I had the rare opportunity to soar to the edge of space in a U-2 reconnaissance aircraft. Because it was a classified mission, I can only tell you that at 70,000 feet you can see two-thirds of the state of California. At 80,000 feet you can see some distinctly mapped outlines of America. And at 90,000 feet you tear up and feel like you can reach out and touch the face of God! It was a spiritual experience I wish each of you could have.<\/p>\n
For four hours I sat in the sounds of silence, looking at the breathtaking curvature of the earth, gazing into the endless blackness of space, pondering eternity, and reflecting on President Dieter F. Uchtdorf\u2019s reminder that we are more than just mortal beings living on a small planet for a short season (see \u201cYou Matter to Him,\u201d Ensign, <\/i> November 2011, 22).<\/p>\n
Through this experience I became an eyewitness to the words of Alma: \u201cFor behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors\u201d (Alma 34:32).<\/p>\n
Through fasting and prayer I have chosen this scripture as the text for my remarks, and I will use the four transformational words in it as my template: life, time, prepare, <\/i> and perform. <\/i> I have affectionately named them \u201cThe Four Steps on the Stairway to Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\nLife<\/b><\/h2>\n
The United States Declaration of Independence states that we \u201care endowed by [our] Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.\u201d This makes life sound like an exciting, fulfilling adventure that should be relatively easy, right? But as a two-time bishop for young single adults, I learned firsthand that many of you are making life way too hard. Simplifying your life and creating the happiness you dream of and deserve is about attracting and maintaining good, clean, pure, powerful, positive, productive relationships; coming to grips with your own humanness; and appreciating the Atonement in a different way.<\/p>\n
As I have traveled the world, I have come to realize that we become the average of the five people we associate with the most, which means we must be willing to pay any price and travel any distance to associate with extraordinary human beings.<\/p>\n
Isn\u2019t this why you chose to come to BYU? Isn\u2019t this why we attend our church meetings each week? Isn\u2019t this the formula for creating an extraordinary culture of excellence in academics and for how to build a championship sports program\u2014in which the coaches recruit one extraordinary human being at a time who also happens to be a gifted athlete?<\/p>\n
It is my experience that when you put a hard-to-catch horse in the same field with an easy-to-catch horse, you usually end up with two hard-to-catch horses. When you put a healthy child in the same room with a sick child, you usually end up with two sick children.<\/p>\n
So what is the moral to the story? To be disciplined, healthy, and significant, you need to associate with the disciplined, healthy, and significant people who share your same values and follow your same personal and institutional honor code.<\/p>\n
That is obvious. But do you know anyone who refuses to see this logic and who has given up what matters most for what they think they want at the moment?<\/p>\n
The scriptures clearly warn:<\/p>\n
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? <\/i><\/p>\n
Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? <\/i> [Mark 8:36\u201337]<\/p>\nSuccessful Versus Significant<\/i><\/b><\/h3>\n
I saw this reality unfold in two separate scenarios. The first one involved a football teammate of mine who was drafted into the National Football League with a huge second-round signing bonus and a big salary.<\/p>\n
However, after only four years in the league, while at the top of his superstar career, he walked out of practice\u2014quit\u2014never to play again. Why? He loved being a football player but he hated playing football. He got what he wanted but he hated what he got. He loved the celebrity perks and fame and fortune that allowed him a successful life focused on a destination that\u2019s impressive. But because his inner voice and true purpose were misaligned with who he was and what he did, he would never be able to enjoy a life of significance that focused on a journey that\u2019s important. Can any of you relate? Will some of you graduate with a degree you want but, because in the real world there are no jobs in that field, never want what you get?<\/p>\n
The second explanatory scenario unfolded with a beautiful, smart, and talented BYU coed who is an incredible singer-songwriter and who has written with many of the biggest names in country music.<\/p>\n
Consequently, many of the lead-singing bad boys of bands are attracted to her, and she is attracted to them. As a conservative friend, I tried to counsel her that she has everything she needs to get what she wants, but at some point she should stop long enough to make sure she wants what she is getting.<\/p>\n
My words continually fell on deaf ears until one day I had an epiphany. I told her she was acting like a dog chasing cars. If she, like a dog, caught the car, what would she do with it? Just let it drag her down a road she had not intended to go down and beat her up until she finally let go in divorce?<\/p>\n
Are any of you chasing cars you really won\u2019t want? Are any of you becoming desensitized to what matters most, which is what lasts the longest, and are you slowly going inactive because of the influences around you? Are any of you dating someone who can\u2019t take you to the temple because you are confused about the real definition of love?<\/p>\n
The Bible says, \u201cGod is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him\u201d (1 John 4:16), which means that love is a commitment, not a way of feeling. Romance is not love. Romance comes from a Greek word that means \u201cerotic,\u201d so I don\u2019t even want to talk about that. However, I do want you to think differently about love.<\/p>\n
If I love you because you are beautiful, that is romance. But if you are beautiful because I love you, that is real love\u2014it is a value-creating love that inspires you to be the best you can be.<\/p>\n
Yet how many of us confuse love (commitment) with romance (emotion). What have we said our whole lives? \u201cI love her so much; she makes me feel differently than I have ever felt before.\u201d Or, \u201cI love him so much; he makes me feel differently than I have ever felt before.\u201d So do breakfast burritos! If you think you are in love, maybe you just need a long, cold shower and a box of Rolaids!<\/p>\n
\u201cI love you\u201d means nothing unless we back it up with action. True love is not finding someone who is perfect\u2014it is finding someone who is perfect for you, so that when you are apart, you always say, \u201cI like me best when I am with you; I want to see you again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Creating the life of happiness you dream of and deserve also requires that you come to grips with your own humanness.<\/p>\n
I know what you had to do to get into BYU. Congratulations for qualifying both spiritually and intellectually! Most of you were on your high school honor roll every time. That was not the case for me, and I am fortunate that my dad cut me some slack.<\/p>\n
One time I came home with a report card that had four Fs and one D on it. What was my dad\u2019s response? \u201cSon, it looks to me like you are spending too much time on one subject.\u201d You have got to love my dad!<\/p>\n
The part of your extremely high achievement world here at BYU that is often forgotten is the frightening reality that when you do make a mistake, mess up, fail, or fall, it is usually harder on you than on most. BYU is a school of academic and sports champions\u2014which means that around here, losing hurts worse than winning feels good.<\/p>\n
The Doctrine and Covenants gives us comfort, stating, \u201cThine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment\u201d and \u201cshall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good\u201d (D&C 121:7, 122:7).<\/p>\n
But the question still remains: What are you going to do about it? Make excuses or claim \u201cthe devil made me do it\u201d? No, he didn\u2019t. The apostle Paul was clear when he said:<\/p>\n
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. <\/i> [1 Corinthians 10:13]<\/p>\n
Are you going to get mad, blame others, and stay mad? I think not. Staying angry and holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You need to forgive and get on with it.<\/p>\n
And no, it wasn\u2019t peer pressure that made you let your guard down. Pressure is not something that is naturally there; it is created when you question your own ability. And when you know what you can do, there is never any question.<\/p>\n
So the question isn\u2019t, Are you going to crash and burn every once in a while? Of course you are\u2014you are human! In Romans 3:23 we read, \u201cFor all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.\u201d The question is, What are you going to do about it?<\/p>\n
Some will counsel you to exercise faith. But faith without works is not faith at all. Some will encourage you to have hope. But the words of French philosopher Blaise Pascal caution, \u201cWe never live, but we hope to live; and, as we are always preparing to be happy, it is inevitable we should never be so\u201d (Pens\u00e9es<\/i> [1670], section 2, \u201cThe Misery of Man Without God,\u201d 172). These people are waiting for someone to ask them to the senior prom but have never taken the time to learn how to dance!<\/p>\n
The most common counsel is to be patient. Patience is a virtue, yes, but not always. Any virtue taken to the extreme can become a vice. Patience allows us to never begin. Patience allows us to mindlessly wait our turn, believing that this is the hand we have been dealt, that this is the cross we must bear, and that there is nothing we can do about it\u2014it is meant to be!<\/p>\n
No, no, no! When life gets tough\u2014and it surely will, because if you are not failing a few times, that means you are not pushing yourself hard enough\u2014what you need is an unshakable commitment to persevere. Perseverance is patience with a purpose, when you willingly and proactively take your turn because you know why you should.<\/p>\n
This is why creating the life of happiness you dream of and deserve also requires that you appreciate the Atonement in a different way.<\/p>\n
We all know the first law of heaven is obedience. To test our obedience, God gave us the gift of moral agency. To protect our agency, we were given \u201can opposition in all things\u201d (2 Nephi 2:11), compelling us to choose in every situation whether or not we will stand for what we believe. And because we are all human and are susceptible to the temptations of the world, God did not leave us on our own to face our challenges. Through Moroni He told us: \u201cFor behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge\u201d (Moroni 7:16).<\/p>\n
We commonly call this inherent ability to discern right from wrong our conscience. This scripture means our conscience will never fail us; only our desire to follow it decreases as we continue to do the wrong thing.<\/p>\n
Because Heavenly Father knew our agency would get us into trouble when we don\u2019t follow our conscience, John 3:16 beautifully states: \u201cFor God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.\u201d<\/p>\n
I testify that Jesus is the Christ and that He died on the cross. He is my personal Savior. I know He lives and was resurrected, which guarantees our immortality. As Christians, we Latter-day Saints know that \u201cby grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast\u201d (Ephesians 2:8\u20139).<\/p>\n
Because of the infinite Atonement, the Lord is not disappointed when you fall or transgress. The Lord is only disappointed when you don\u2019t learn the lesson and get back up and go again. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is continuous and real, which means that pain is a signal to grow, not to suffer. And once you learn the lesson the pain is teaching you, the pain goes away. In life there are no mistakes, only lessons.<\/p>\n