“The Most Desirable Above All Things”

Good morning, friends. I am happy to be with you today. As you heard in my introduction, I have very few credentials or accolades to my name. So when I was invited to speak at this devotional, two questions naturally came to mind: “Why me?” and “Why now?”

As I prayerfully sought the Lord’s direction for what He would have me share with you today, the answer to the first question came. Why me? Because I am to share two specific personal experiences with you, both of which have happened over the course of several years in my life. One concerns a little red notebook, and the other involves my second-born son.

What I don’t yet know is the answer to the second question: Why now? My hope is that the Lord will reveal the answer to this question to each of you through the whisperings of the Spirit as we spend time together this morning.

Experience 1: The Red Notebook

To tell you about the little red notebook, I’ll start in April 2010. That’s when President Henry B. Eyring gave a general conference address entitled “Act in All Diligence.” At the end of that address, he said the following:

I close now with this counsel to the Lord’s priesthood servants. Ponder deeply and diligently in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets. Persist in prayer for the Holy Ghost to reveal to you the nature of God the Father and His Beloved Son. Plead that the Spirit will show you what the Lord wants you to do. Plan to do it. Promise Him to obey. Act with determination until you have done what He asked. And then pray to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and to know what you might do next.¹

Those are the words that I read in 2010 during my personal studies. But these are the words that I heard and felt: This is a really important pattern. You need to start doing this.

So I broke his counsel into bullet points (because my brain has a thing about understanding through organization), and I realized that there were seven actions I needed to do. Each of them, except one, started with the letter P. That was great! It would help me remember them.

1. Ponder deeply and diligently in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets.
2. Persist in prayer for the Holy Ghost to reveal to you the nature of God the Father and His Beloved Son.
3. Plead that the Spirit will show you what the Lord wants you to do.
4. Plan to do it.
5. Promise Him to obey.
6. Act with determination until you have done what He has asked.
7. Pray to give thanks for the opportunity to serve and to know what you might do next.

I looked at the list and felt that I was doing the first one, but I could definitely be more diligent. The second one I had never even thought about doing. And the third one looked like what the rest of the steps depended upon because I couldn’t plan to do it, promise to obey, and so on without first knowing by the Spirit what the Lord wanted me to do.

So I started to heed President Eyring’s counsel by being more diligent in studying the scriptures and the words of living prophets and praying daily for number two and number three.

One day during my studies several months later, I read this in an article by Elder Neil L. Andersen:

How can we use this heavenly gift as a vital compass for our daily actions? We must believe that even in our weaknesses, the still, small voice we feel comes from our Father. We must pray and ask and seek and then not be afraid when answers come into our heart and mind. Believe they are divine. They are.²

I also read these words of the prophet Mormon, as recorded by his son Moroni in the Book of Mormon:

But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.³

Those are the words that I read. These are the words that I heard and felt: Every good thought that you have is inspired of God. Believe that your good thoughts are divine. They are.

So I started paying closer attention to the positive thoughts that would come to me—the nudges to act, to do something or say something. I was surprised at how many good thoughts I would have throughout the day. This was at a time in my life when I had four young children at home, one of whom had special needs and required 24/7 care. I also had a time-intensive Church calling, and it wasn’t long before I started to feel overwhelmed that I was not able to get done every good thing I thought to do. I would have a thought to do something while I was in the middle of making dinner or cleaning up a child, and I would forget about that good thought in the busyness of my life.

Around this time, I heard Elder Richard G. Scott say the following:

When it is for the Lord’s purposes, He can bring anything to our remembrance. That should not weaken our determination to record impressions of the Spirit. Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation.⁴

Those are the words he spoke. And these are the words I heard and felt: 

You should get a notebook and write down the good thoughts you have when you can’t act on them right away. That way you won’t forget, and you can still make a plan to accomplish them, promise the Lord to obey, and act in determination until you’ve done what He has asked.

The Spirit showed me what to do and brought to my remembrance the rest of the steps in President Eyring’s counsel. That’s when I started to use this little red notebook. [A photo was shown.] I kept it handy throughout the day so that I could quickly jot down my good thoughts as the day progressed. My early entries included things such as

Visit [this friend].

Plan and hold a game night for [these friends].

Start doing [this] to help [this son] learn to read.

Fast for [this specific blessing] for [this specific person].

Ask [this specific friend] to go walking on Saturday mornings.

Not long after I started using this notebook,I was called and set apart as the Young Women president in my ward, and my notebook began to fill up with thoughts regarding each of my thirty young women. I served in this calling for fifteen months before our family moved out of state for work.

In our new home, my notebook started to fill up with thoughts regarding my new ward members, neighbors, and coworkers. Over the years there were times when I would have a good thought and was able to carry it out immediately. And there were other times when the timing of the thought made it impossible for me to do so.

That was the case one night while I was studying and had the thought to check on Camilla. At the time, my husband, Todd, had taken our boys to a Young Men activity in our only working car, and Camilla did not live within walking distance of my home. So I sent her a text and asked her how she was doing. We exchanged texts over the next hour, during which time I discovered that she had had vertigo and missed several days of work. But she was feeling much better, had returned to work that day, and was now cleaning her house. After I completed my studies that night, I had this thought: You should take Camilla some soup.

It was not possible for me to accomplish that right then, so I wrote it down in my notebook. I realized that between Camilla’s work schedule and mine, the earliest I would be able to deliver the soup would be after I got off work the next day. I didn’t even have soup to take to her, so I set an alarm in my phone to remind me when I got off work to go straight to the store and buy some soup.

The next day was difficult at work, and by the end of the day, I had forgotten all about the soup. As I got in my car, longing for home, my alarm went off to remind me. I’m so tired, I thought. I just want to go home. It’s not like she’s expecting me. Maybe I’ll just take it tomorrow.

I was about to do just that when President Russell M. Nelson’s counsel, which he had given just a few days earlier, came back to my mind:

Choose to do the spiritual work required to enjoy the gift of the Holy Ghost and hear the voice of the Spirit more frequently and more clearly.

With Moroni, I exhort you on this Easter Sabbath to “come unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good gift,” beginning with the gift of the Holy Ghost, which gift can and will change your life.⁵

I had committed that day when President Nelson spoke that I would do better. I knew that the good thought I had had was the voice of the Spirit and that my acting upon this impression was the work required to be able to hear the Spirit more frequently and clearly.

So instead of delaying my response and going home, I went to the store, bought some soup, and drove directly to Camilla’s home. She should be home from work now, I thought as I ran up the stairs to her apartment. I knocked on the door and waited for a while. When she finally opened the door, it was just slightly—enough that I could see that the lights were off and she was in her bathrobe. I held the bag of soup through the small crack in the door and said, “The Lord asked me to bring you this soup.”

Camilla reached out, took the bag, and began to cry. She told me that she had a bad cold and hadn’t gone to work that day. She said that fifteen minutes before I arrived, she had been tearing up her apartment, looking for soup that she thought she had. After a thorough search she had sat down, defeated, and cried, “Jesus, can you please just let me have some soup?”

“The Lord sure loves you, Camilla,” was my response upon hearing her story. I could feel His love so strongly as I stood there—His love for her and His love for me.

As I returned to my car, I thought about how the Lord could have answered Camilla’s prayer by helping her find soup in her cupboard—even a cupboard she was sure she had checked before. Instead, He had invited me to participate in His miracle. I felt an increase of love for and connection to Him.

Some years later I shared this experience in a Sunday meeting back in my home state. A young mother who had been one of my Young Women ten years earlier was present. She leaned over to me afterward and asked, “Am I in that book?”

“Yes,” I responded.

“I knew it!” she said. “Because when you started [doing this specific thing], it changed my life.”

I was so grateful that we could recognize together and remember again the Lord’s love for us.

So why now? Why is this the experience the Lord wanted me to share with you today? I hope that you have received or will receive an answer to this question through the power of the Holy Ghost. What good thought and feeling have you had as you’ve heard me share? I encourage you to take a moment to write it down.

I will share a few of the truths that the Spirit has taught me through this experience.

Not all the entries in my notebook have a follow-up story. For ten years I was unaware of the effect that a prompting had had on that young woman. But my lack of knowing or seeing the effect did not change its occurrence. I have seen enough to know of a surety that every time I act in faith on a prompting from the Lord, His purposes are accomplished.⁶ I don’t need to know His purpose to be obedient,⁷ and I don’t need to see His purpose accomplished for it to happen. I am willing to go forward in faith and leave the outcomes to Him.

My notebook that was once brand new and pretty now looks like this. [A photo of a well-worn notebook was shown.] But it means so much more to me now than it did when it was brand new. Now it is a reminder to me of the love of God for each of His children and of the Lord’s desire to include us in His work. I can confidently say that “I belong in His Church and kingdom; and I belong in His cause to bring redemption to all of God’s children”⁸—and so do you.

How involved I am is really up to me. There have been times through the years that I have not been as diligent as other times in hearing, recognizing, and responding to the voice of the Spirit. But every time I let the Lord know that I want to be part of His work in whatever capacity He wants me to serve, He includes me.⁹ I don’t have to be perfect to be included in His work.¹⁰

At times the tools in my smart phone have come in handy for recording a good thought during the day. Sometimes I use the Reminders tool or Calendar app to capture an impression. Other times I text myself so I won’t forget. I have also scribbled a note on the back of a receipt and put it in my pocket with a prayer that the Lord would help me remember it was there. Regardless of the tool that I use to assist me, it is important that I pause to acknowledge a divine thought and show my intention to obey.¹¹

Experience 2: Patterning

It is in obedience to a divine thought that I now share with you a second experience, one that involves my son Sa’olotoga. We call him Sa’o for short. Sa’o is the second of my four sons, and he was born with many challenges, including being deaf and insensate. Though he was physically in the world, he was unable to move or hear or feel the world around him.

Neurologists taught us that we could help Sa’o by using intentional and consistent patterning. Each day, several times a day, I would hold a patterning session with Sa’o using exercises such as these: I would take a cup of hot water and a cup of ice water and put a metal spoon in each cup. Then I would say, “This is hot” and place the spoon from the hot water on the back of Sa’o’s wrist. The spoon was not hot enough to burn but hot enough to recognize the temperature. I would then say, “This is cold” and put the spoon from the ice water on the back of his other wrist. I repeated this pattern using textures, saying, “This is soft” or “This is rough.” Sa’o also had tactile sessions of massage, patting, scratching, and feather rub to help him learn how to feel as well as patterning sessions multiple times a day to help him learn how to move.

Now you might be thinking, Why did you need to verbally tell him what he was supposed to be feeling if he was deaf? I had the same thought when we were taught what to do for him. But I wanted so much to help him and didn’t want my skepticism to prevent his chances of receiving help. So I chose to trust that the medical specialists knew more than I did, and I faithfully followed their instructions.

At the same time, we were doing auditory patterning sessions throughout the day to help Sa’o hear. I would say things such as “This is a handbell,” “This is a sparrow,” or “This is a fire engine.” [Audio clips were played for each sound.] Incidentally, that is when I learned that this is a cougar [an audio clip of a loud meow was played] and this is a BYU cougar [an audio clip of a mighty roar was played]. We would ensure during each auditory patterning session that there were no other distracting noises so that it was easy for Sa’o to discern the sound.

Over time, Sa’o began to show signs that he could hear things. We first noticed it with his startle reflex. I still remember the day when he was about fifteen months old when he startled and cried because someone shut the door loudly. That was later followed by him looking in my direction when I called to him. And then one day when I said, “This is hot,” he reacted before I put the spoon on his wrist. We were able to stop with that specific patterning, but it was still several years before he fully developed the reflex to pull his hand away when he touched something hot.

Over the years Sa’o learned to crawl, creep, walk, and even run—well, it’s more like a trot. He is still nonverbal and has many other challenges, but he can hear and feel the world around him, and he communicates with us in many ways.

There are many truths that I have been taught by the Spirit through this experience. I’ll share just a few.

Just like our physical bodies can become insensate due to trauma or neglect, our spirits can become past feeling or unable to discern God’s love for us. Regarding this, Elder Dale G. Renlund said the following:

Sometimes we may not feel His love, but it is always there. God’s love is perfect. Our ability to sense that love is not.

. . . Behaviors that distance us from the Holy Ghost, including sin, make it difficult for us to perceive God’s love for us.

Similarly, our sense of God’s love may be blunted by challenging circumstances and physical or mental illness, among other things.¹²

I know that I have not felt God’s love consistently throughout my life. There are times when I feel it so strongly that it overwhelms me and brings me to tears of joy. And at other times, in the midst of my challenging circumstances, my perception of His love is blunted.

Helping my son to hear and feel with his physical body was important for his safety. Without the ability to feel pain, Sa’o had no warning that an action was causing him physical harm, and he had to rely on the intervention of others for his safety. But being able to hear and feel was also important for the joy it brought to his life. Sa’o finds so much joy and fascination in the feeling of everyday things that I take for granted, such as the texture of a leaf or the feel of water.

In the same way that physical feeling is important, feeling God’s love is essential not just for our spiritual safety but for the joy it brings to our lives. President Nelson has said:

I assure you that our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, love you. . . . Again and again, I pray for you to feel Their love for you.

Experiencing Their love is vital.¹³

Being able to feel guilt when we sin is a sign that we can feel God’s love for us. It is a safety mechanism to protect us from further harm. But feeling His love also brings us great joy.

When Nephi received a guided tour of his father’s vision of the tree of life, an angel asked him if he knew the meaning of the tree that his father had seen in vision. Nephi said:

Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

And [the angel] spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.¹⁴

Have you experienced the joy of His love? The joy that you feel regardless of what is or is not happening in your life?¹⁵

The prophet Alma in the Book of Mormon asked a congregation in Zarahemla a similar question: “If ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?”¹⁶

Maybe your answer to this question is “Yes.” Or maybe it’s “No. I don’t really feel so now. Not like I have before.” Perhaps your answer is “I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt so.”

I know that regardless of where we are on this spectrum, we can learn to recognize God’s love or increase our ability to feel God’s love through consistent and intentional patterning.

Consistent Efforts to Partake of God’s Love

Just as I used multiple exercises for Sa’o’s physical patterning, there are multiple things we can do in our patterning efforts to feel God’s love, and the overlap of our efforts is beneficial. I will highlight four examples of these efforts today.

1. Pray

The first one is to pray. President Nelson has said:

Understand that in the absence of experiences with God, one can doubt the existence of God. So, put yourself in a position to begin having experiences with Him. Humble yourself. Pray to have eyes to see God’s hand in your life and in the world around you. Ask Him to tell you if He is really there—if He knows you. Ask Him how He feels about you. And then listen.¹⁷

I find what Lehi experienced right before he saw the tree of life—or in other words, right before he saw the love of God—to be significant. These are his words:

After I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.

And it came to pass after I had prayed unto the Lord I beheld a large and spacious field.

And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.¹⁸

Unfortunately, I have done this same thing, traveling in darkness and struggling on my own for a while before remembering to call upon the Lord for mercy. Sometimes it was because I didn’t realize at the onset how long the struggle was going to be and my first instinct had been to gird up my loins and tough it out. Though that is not a bad approach, the far better approach is to tough it out with the Lord’s help.

2. Seek the Spirit

After Lehi prayed and saw the tree of life, he still had to “go forth and partake of the fruit thereof.”¹⁹ From the accounts in his dream of others striving to do the same, this was not a quick and easy task. Seeing the love of God is not the same as partaking of the love of God, and God will not force us to partake of His love.²⁰

Instead, we can use our agency to engage in consistent patterning efforts that overlap with prayer to help us partake of God’s love. One of these efforts is to be where the Spirit of God is present.²¹ We can do this through repenting daily, studying the scriptures, partaking of the sacrament, studying the words of living prophets, worshipping in the temple, doing family history work, and consistently putting ourselves in holy places.

Just as our family needed to remove auditory distractions during Sa’o’s patterning, when we consistently put ourselves in places where worldly distractions are minimized, we can more easily hear and feel the Spirit witness truth to our hearts and minds.

President Nelson has said:

The most important truth the Holy Ghost will ever witness to you is that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. He lives! He is our Advocate with the Father, our Exemplar, and our Redeemer.²²

Jesus Christ is the love of God. The more we know and love Him, the more we will know and feel God’s love for us.²³

3. Remember God’s Goodness

King Benjamin taught this next effort to his people, as recorded in the Book of Mormon:

I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, . . . and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come. . . .

And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God.²⁴

Remembering God’s goodness enables us to partake of His love and always rejoice.

4. Serve Others

The last effort I’ll highlight that helps us partake of God’s love is to serve others for Him.

Each experience in my little red notebook, along with countless others, has helped me to feel God’s love—His love for those I serve and His love for me.

Just like my son Sa’o needed the help of others on his physical journey, we need each other on our journey to feel God’s love more abundantly in our lives. Each time we serve another and strive to see and love each other as the Savior does, we are in essence saying, “This is the love of God. This is our Savior’s love.”²⁵

If today you feel your prayers are not heard or you can’t feel God’s love for you, please know that every effort you make matters, even if you don’t yet recognize it. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know you, hear you, and love you. It is as certain as the truth that you exist.

I hope that our time together has made a small contribution to your efforts to feel Their love for you more abundantly. I encourage you to continue with your patterning efforts. Don’t give up. Pray for help not to give up.²⁶

I know that our living prophet and apostles are special witnesses of Jesus Christ. Hearkening to their words has helped me to know Him and has made them beautiful in my eyes. I know that they speak the words of Christ and that as we feast upon their words, “the words of Christ will tell [us] all things what [we] should do,”²⁷ and “the Holy Ghost . . . will show unto [us] all things what [we] should do.”²⁸

Jesus Christ lives. He is the love of God. I have come to know for myself that feeling His love is worth every effort. It truly is “the most desirable above all things” and “the most joyous to the soul.” I share these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

© Brigham Young University. All rights reserved.