Connections

Welcome back to campus! I hope you enjoyed the holidays surrounded by the people who you love.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my relationships with other people and the importance of the connections I’ve made throughout my life. The connections we make with others are vitally important. As I look back on the last year and a half, I think about all the new connections that Shane and I have made. We have met so many amazing people. Some of our most memorable times have been connecting with and spending time with you, our amazing students, whether on study abroad trips, at performing arts and sporting events, in the Wilkinson Center, or just walking around campus. We have felt such a deep connection to you, and it has meant so much to us.

Why is this need for human connection so important? Do we sometimes think, “Wow! My life would be so much easier if I didn’t have to interact with all these people?”

Every single day we have interactions with people around us. Connections are everything. Our entire lives revolve around connections. Can you imagine living a life with zero connections?

I remember when I was younger that one of the ways we connected was through something called the telephone. It had a circular dial on it, a curly cord that connected the receiver to the phone, and another cord that connected the phone to the wall. If we weren’t at home where we could use the telephone, we had phone booths. If you went into a phone booth and dialed the operator, you could make what was called a “collect call.” Whoever was on the other end of the phone could either accept the call and pay for the charges or reject the call.

Today we have cell phones, which make it so much easier to connect with others. You can pretty much call anyone at any time anywhere in the world.

But there is another type of connection that I want to focus on today, and it’s called “human contact” or “face-to-face”—not to be confused with FaceTime.

Improving Our Connections with Others

At the beginning of this new semester, you might find yourself wondering if you will meet anyone new. Is there someone out there who you really want to connect with? Maybe you want to make a new love connection or a job connection. Maybe you’re hoping to make connections with new friends or just want to improve some of the connections you already have. Perhaps you have new roommates, new professors, new ward members, new ministering brothers or sisters, or new coworkers. All these connections are important. Whether they’re new or existing, they matter.

One suggestion that I might offer as we begin the semester is to ask ourselves, “Are there ways that I can improve my connections with others?”

We all have a need for someone in our life—someone who cares about us, loves us, and understands us. Someone we can talk to or just go have fun with. We do indeed have a basic human need for connections. Connections unify us and bring us together. They make us stronger and happier and improve our sense of well-being.

In his recent inauguration speech, Utah governor Spencer J. Cox talked about the reason for Utah’s impressive statistics that have contributed to Utah being considered “the best state in the nation.”¹ In a surprising turn, however, Governor Cox said that these accolades had absolutely nothing to do with the elected officials or the government of the State of Utah. Instead, he said it had far more to do with what he called “social capital.”²

According to Will Kenton, “Social capital is a set of shared values or resources that allows individuals to work together in a group to effectively achieve a common purpose.”³ In other words, social capital is comprised of the connections we have with one another that help us become what we cannot be alone.

These interactions and connections with others can help us build each other up in meaningful ways.

So, what does it look like to develop these connections? It might look like sharing your favorite BYU ice cream with your roommates, asking a professor about job opportunities, going to a devotional with your University 101 class, hiking the Y with your roommates, asking someone on a date, showing someone you love them by serving them, being a better listener, showing respect, opening a door for someone, being civil, calling people by name, smiling, waving, inviting, including, welcoming, encouraging, giving people the benefit of the doubt, saying please and thank you, forgiving, finding common ground, having others’ best interest at heart, and finding joy in others’ accomplishments.

This list doesn’t include all the ways we can develop connections. You will find many other ways that will come naturally to you, but one thing is true about all these connections: Making connections will be a blessing to you and to others. Connecting will improve your relationships and increase your personal sense of belonging. You might feel hesitant to do some of these things and think that you don’t have anything in common with someone, but remember that the one thing that unites all of us is that we are children of God. In fact, our BYU Statement on Belonging helps remind us that this common identity as children of God is a great unifier. The statement reads:

We are united by our common primary identity as children of God (Acts 17:29; Psalm 82:6) and our commitment to the truths of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ (BYU Mission Statement). We strive to create a community of belonging composed of students, faculty, and staff whose hearts are knit together in love (Mosiah 18:21).⁴

Making Connections Based on Covenants

Let me share a story to illustrate. Early in our marriage, while we were living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, Shane was working long hours at Los Alamos National Laboratory, and the drive from Santa Fe to Los Alamos was about forty minutes each way. I was feeling a little alone and isolated. I felt that human need for connection. I decided to pray to my Heavenly Father and tell Him that I really needed a friend. I felt a little bit silly doing this, but I did it anyway.

About a month later, a young family moved into the ward. They had two young girls about the same ages as my daughters. We quickly became friends, and our daughters loved playing together. It was an answer to my prayer. My connection with Heavenly Father provided me with friendly connections to this family. I don’t believe connections are happenstance; the Lord purposefully puts people in our lives who we can connect with.

One component of the story I just shared was my reliance on and connection with God. The kinds of connections that are the most meaningful are those that are based on covenants. I love the way Jonathan Sacks talked about these kinds of connections in his book entitled Morality. He said:

Self-interest generates contracts. In a contract, two or more individuals, each pursuing their own advantage, come together to make an exchange for mutual benefit. I pay my garage mechanic to mend my car. I and others pay our taxes to ensure that we have the social services we need. So there is the commercial contract that creates the market, and the social contract that creates the state. But in both cases, the motivating factor is self-interest. Contracts are about “I.”

A covenant generates a different kind of relationship altogether. Recall that what makes it different is that in a covenant, two or more individuals, each respecting the dignity and integrity of the other, come together in a bond of love and trust, to share their interests, sometimes even to share their lives, by pledging their faithfulness to one another, to do together what neither can achieve alone. Unlike contracts, which are entered into for the sake of advantage, covenants are moral commitments sustained by loyalty and fidelity, even when they call for sacrifice. They are about you and I coming together to form a “We.”⁵

Connections based on covenants are relationships that involve Jesus Christ. When we strengthen our relationship with the Savior through covenants that we make with Him, our relationships with others will in turn be strengthened.

Jesus Christ is the perfect example of how to love and connect with others. He is merciful, kind, forgiving, and slow to anger. He loves us unconditionally. He is no respecter of persons. He comforts, He heals, He listens. He invites all to come unto Him in a bond of love and trust.

In teaching us about the importance of our connection with God through covenants, Elder Ulisses Soares said:

As we make covenants in holiness before God and commit to follow the Savior, we receive the power to change our hearts, renew our spirits, and deepen our relationship with Him. Such an endeavor brings sanctification to our souls and forms a sacred bond with God and Jesus Christ, who promise that we can inherit the gift of eternal life. The result of this sacred journey is that we obtain a holier and higher confidence for our day-to-day lives within our covenants made through Jesus Christ.⁶

This “sacred bond” that Elder Soares talked about is the most powerful connection we can experience in mortality. Elder Soares went on to describe the effects of this connection. Our bond with Jesus Christ will strengthen us in our weakest times, it will bring light to our darkest days, and it will fill our souls with hope when we feel hopelessness.⁷ This is the miracle of strengthening our relationship with Christ.

We are reminded of this connection to the Savior every Sunday as we partake of the sacrament. Specifically, if we keep our covenants and obey His commandments, His Spirit will always be with us.⁸ In other words, our connection to Him can be everlasting.

Please don’t let your time at BYU pass without finding opportunities to make amazing connections! You will carry so many of the connections that you make here at BYU throughout your life.

I am grateful for the relationships in my life and especially for my relationship with our Heavenly Father. I know Jesus is the Christ; He is our Redeemer and Savior of the world. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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